sometimes you have to be scared and decide to do it anyway.....

My friend Hue and I were talking about the future the other day, trying to decided what our ideal lives would be like. I came up with a life that included my own space that I don't need to own, so long as its mine. A puppy. A boy who I don't need to sign a piece of paper with but ... who I might sign that paper with (LOL), enough money to visit the islands or Australia every year and a small circle of awesome friends that I see often.  Nothing too bizarre right?

It sounds comfortable and happy to me. The thing is how do I get from here to there? The first thing is that I need to be employed! I am so sick of having no money and having to so carefully think about every single dollar! I've found an AMAZING job that pays very well that I'm going to apply for. I actually think that it's probably a little out of my league but it ties up everything I love in one shiny bow. I want that job but it brings me to scary thing number one that I don't want to do but am probably going to have to do....

DRIVING ARRRRGGGHHHHHH!!! My dream job is going to require me to learn to drive. I have less than zero desire to do it. I do NOT want to own a car or be responsible for driving one on the road. The thought petrifies me but perhaps it's time to cowboy up and do it. I'm almost breaking out in a cold sweat just thinking about it but ... I really would love that job! That job would be a huge step towards making my dream future happen and it feels ridiculous that something like driving will take it away from me ...  

Scary thing number two....?? well. I guess there are a bunch of things.. changes and adaptions. ARGH. I will possibly ... no .. probably be living a very different life by my birthday in 3 months. Almost everything will hopefully be changing. I'm so excited and absolutely ready for it but at the same time it goes against my nature to put myself out there, to take risks and really go after what I want. The thing that has made me ready to be scared and do it anyway is that I finally realised that what I want is pretty simple and it shouldn't really need to be a drama to get it. I just need to take some steps ...so I'm taking them :) 

... Edited LOL