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Friday, May 16, 2014

The GOOD with the BAD

***Long random sorta post ahead***

Things in my neck of the world have been a bit of a whirlwind over the last 6 weeks or so. It's so hard not to be all 'poor me' but there have been so many fantastic things that I have loved during this time that if I do dip my toe into the quick sand just thinking about them is enough to pull me out.

At the end of march my flatmate passed away. She didn't just pass away she had an accident here at home and I had to call the ambulance and it was a pretty nasty situation. I didn't think she would pass away that night but it was still so scary. Even now, all these weeks later it's still a little hard to actually fathom that she died. After a life of having these types of accidents and not dying ... she died. Hmmm. It's impossible to get my head around and it's so easy to say all the right things and of course the brain knows, logically that things couldn't have been different but generally speaking when things happen the heart is more powerful than the head. 

During the month I've had disappointment after disappointment on the job front and the resurgence of an injury that I just didn't think was ever going to be a problem again but which has meant that I've had to turn down work which always sucks. My finances are so stressful and past choices are making it hard right now. Of course it will all be better when I have an income!

So there's all of that and while I'm adjusting to looking for a new job and a new place to live I have had some major first world problems that have simply added together to make life so frustrating and kinda sorta like I'm constantly walking through gel ... or something. 

Today is the last day in my 100 happy days project. Looking back through the last month or so of pictures has really made me realise how incredibly lucky I am. If I were religiously inclined, which I'm not, I would say I were blessed. 

My friends and family have, on several situations helped me to have some amazing and fun times. Two nights after my flatmate went to hospital Mr left me speechless and just a wee bit in awe of him when he gave me a private tour of the civic and then a little later a crazy fun night in that had me wearing his clothes plus fairy wings and a crown and dancing around the house with his flatmate :)

I got to go to a hot air balloon show ( ?) which was really amazing. I've actually spent a ton of time with my sister and nephew in the last little while and I've really enjoyed it though having a 16 month old staying with me in my totally not child friendly house was freaking exhausting!. 

I finally had the graduation ceremony for my Graduate Diploma in Teaching. It was such a surprise to me but the day was super special and really enjoyable. I loved participating and I'm so glad that I went along. This ceremony was so much better than my graduation from my degree :)

My mom has been really supportive in lots of ways but she worked really hard to make it possible for me to have a dinner party for 8 of my friends. This is actually a bigger deal than it sounds and I had a fantastic time. The party was to celebrate my birthday and my graduation and my friend getting a job and also the fact that I thought I was going to be leaving this hood. 

Today I went for a long walk and I realised anew that this neighbour hood is spectacular and I am very lucky to live here. It's so great to live at the beach. Every day it's a little different and while it looks awesome it often also smells pretty great which is something that I love. 

So yeah. Things might be a little hard right now and while I'm prone to over thinking and being a drama queen I have an amazing life that is only going to get better. I am going to keep on keeping on and keep making plans and dreaming dreams because THATS how things get better. I will keep trying to reach my ideals and then when I do I will find new ones. I just need to take a breath and chill out sometimes.

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